Unglued

Enchantment

As this enchantment enters, choose a color and balance this enchantment on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When this enchantment falls off your head, sacrifice this enchantment.

Charm School

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

The Cheese Stands Alone

Instant

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

Double Dip

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

Get a Life

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

Creature — Knight

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

Creature — Beast

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than this creature with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Lexivore

Sorcery

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Creature — Bird

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: This creature gains flying until end of turn.

Mesa Chicken

Creature — Lady of Proper Etiquette

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Miss Demeanor

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Once More with Feeling

Destroy target nonartifact, nonland permanent that doesn't share a color with clothing worn by its controller.

Prismatic Wardrobe

Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt this turn to any number of targets, divided as you choose. If there are more people in the room of a different gender than you are as you cast this spell, prevent the next 6 damage this way instead.

Sex Appeal

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Bureaucracy

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Censorship

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Checks and Balances

Creature — Bird Noble

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Chicken à la King

Creature — Clamfolk

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Clambassadors

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Clam-I-Am

As this creature enters, choose a word.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice this creature. You can't repeat a song.

Clam Session

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Common Courtesy

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

Denied!

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Double Take

Enchantment — Aura

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Fowl Play

When this enchantment enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with this enchantment at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Free-for-All

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Psychic Network

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.
Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Sorry

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

Creature — The Biggest, Baddest, Nastiest,

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

Scariest Creature You'll Ever See

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Creature — Zombie

{0}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Deadhead

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

Double Cross

As this enchantment enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Handcuffs

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Creature — Imp

Flying
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from this creature equal to the result.

Jumbo Imp

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add {B}{B}.

Organ Harvest

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, this enchantment deals 1 damage to them.

Creature — Bird Spirit

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice this creature. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Poultrygeist

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from this creature. If you can't, sacrifice it.

Temp of the Damned

Enchant player
As this Aura enters, choose one of enchanted player's hands. That player balances this Aura on the back of that hand.
When this Aura falls off the chosen hand, sacrifice this Aura and enchanted player loses 3 life.

Volrath's Motion Sensor

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, this enchantment deals 3 damage to that player.

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Creature — Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice this creature and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Chicken Egg

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

Double Deal

Creature — Goblin

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Goblin Bookie

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Goblin Bowling Team

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Goblin Tutor

Creature — Minotaur

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

Hurloon Wrangler

Legendary Creature — Devil

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Jalum Grifter

Creature — Cow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice this creature and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Krazy Kow

Choose a land type. Exile all lands you control of that type. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each permanent completely covered by those cards. Then return the cards you dropped to the battlefield tapped.

Landfill

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Ricochet

When this creature enters, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice this creature. If you rolled 7 or 11, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. If you rolled any other total, note that total.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 7, sacrifice this creature. If you roll the noted total, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. Otherwise, do nothing.

Spark Fiend

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Strategy, Schmategy

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

Enchant creature
For each other card named Cardboard Carapace you have with you outside the game, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

Cardboard Carapace

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Double Play

Creature — Elves

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Elvish Impersonators

Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Flock of Rabid Sheep

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Free-Range Chicken

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Gerrymandering

Creature — Ogre

When this creature enters, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of this creature.

Ghazbán Ogress

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Growth Spurt

Creature — Gus

This creature enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may remove a counter from a permanent you control. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Hungry Hungry Heifer

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Incoming!

When this enchantment enters, each player puts their library into their hand.
Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose the game for drawing from an empty library.
Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

Mine, Mine, Mine!

Squirrel

{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Squirrel Farm

Creatures target player's team controls get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Team Spirit

Legendary Creature — Human Gamer

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Timmy, Power Gamer

Artifact

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Blacker Lotus

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Bronze Calendar

{4}, {T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Chaos Confetti

Artifact Creature — Bird

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Clay Pigeon

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Giant Fan

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Look at target player's sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Jester's Sombrero

This artifact enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Mirror Mirror

Scissors Lizard

Rock Lobster

Artifact Creature — Cat

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Paper Tiger

Artifact Creature — Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Artifact Creature — Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Spatula of the Ages

This artifact enters tapped.
This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as this artifact is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap this artifact.

Urza's Contact Lenses

Artifact Creature — Construct

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.